The Phantom of Oz, Installment #31
Head colds, understudies, and a smidge of book news
Hello! As most of you know, I’m serializing The Phantom of Oz here in a bit of an experiment. Once a month, you’ll still receive the “regular” Slightly Silly News. If you missed earlier chapters of Phantom, you can find links to all of the earlier installments here.
If you get most of your ideas about the acting life from movies, (like I did, pre-acting career), you would think that:
A. Actors rarely get sick,
B. If they do, an eager understudy leaps onstage to rescue them,
C. possibility to the detriment of the ill actor’s career (see All About Eve).
Here’s my experience:
I got sick a lot when I was acting. The schedule was grueling. At the beginning of my career, I had a day-job and went to rehearsals after work, and on weekends. It was sometimes after midnight when I got home. As my career progressed, I still often had a part-time day job. Rehearsal times were better at union jobs, but Arizona (where I mostly worked) is a right-to-work state, so I took a lot of non-union jobs, plus I was fitting in film and TV work.
I never once had an understudy. If you absolutely couldn’t go on, the stage manager might go onstage with a script in hand. You went on with the show unless you were dying. I once had the stomach flu during a run of Nunsense. There were stagehands stationed in both wings with buckets ready. (Thankfully for all of us, I never had to use them.)
But bigger professional touring companies often have understudies, so I ran with that in Phantom. I also decided to make the question, “What happens when the understudy gets sick?” Read on to find out after this…
Smidge of Book News
Jennie Bricker and I had a great time with the writing groups at Garden Home Community Library and Cedar Mill Library last week, and at BOLD Coffee and Books, where we discussed Thirsty Creek (Jennie) and Echoes of the Lost (me). The bookstore is a fairly new addition to the Portland book scene, and a very cool place to find books and hang out with a tasty snack and drink (coffee, beer, wine, and soft drinks). Thanks to everyone who came to the events, and to John Kohlepp for the nicely lit photo!
(By the way, several people thought it was apropos that I was sitting directly beneath a book titled, “I’m Just Here to Enjoy Myself.” Because I was.
If you’d like to read my new book, Echoes of the Lost, you can …
And now, on to Phantom!
Chapter 23 (Part One)
Was She Really a Victim?
In the last installment, Arrestadt, Candy’s director and boyfriend, meets Ivy at the Grand Phoenician Theater, where he tells her he’s hiring her to find Candy, understudy Candy’s role, and possibly to continue with the touring company if Candy never shows up.
“Hey, I brought you lunch.” I stood in the doorway of Duda Detectives office and held up a white paper bag from Miracle Mile deli. For once, it didn’t smell like stinky liver. Well, it probably did, but for once I couldn’t smell it. Guess there were some benefits to having a head cold. “Did you get my message?”
Uncle Bob didn’t turn from his computer. “The one where you said you’d be in an hour ago and leaving at twelve thirty?”
“I know. Sorry. I had a meeting that went longer than expected.” I put the bag down in front of him.
“At least when you’re late I get lunch delivered. Hey, where’s yours?”
“I already ate.” It wasn’t true. What was true is that I might have to fit into stick-figure Candy’s extra costume if she didn’t return by Thursday. “And this is my treat.” The unexpected paparazzi photo cash had me feeling flush (plus I was feeling bad about being late again). “Achoo!” I covered my sneeze with my hand. “Ack. Could you pass me a Kleenex?”
“No Kleenex, since someone hasn’t made it to Costco recently.” Uncle Bob handed me one of his napkins. The rough recycled paper did not feel kind to my nose, but it would have to do. Uncle Bob pulled out his white-paper-wrapped liverwurst on rye and grinned at it like a long-lost friend.
“So you forgive me for being late?”
He mumbled something through the big bite of sandwich he’d just taken. I could just make out the word “Costco.”
“If I promise to go to Costco and get Kleenex?”
Uncle Bob swallowed. “And ink and copy paper and snacks and...” He paused dramatically. “Coffee.”
“No. Don’t tell me we’re out of coffee.” Coffee would wake up my brain, fill up my stomach, and feel good on my throat, which was beginning to feel not just scratchy but sore. I practically ran to our office’s little coffee station, which consisted of a beat-up Mr. Coffee maker, some mugs with quotes on them (my favorite said “Starter Fluid”), a couple of filters, and a bag of ground coffee. I picked it up. It was woefully light, but just enough for a half pot. Phew. “I’ll go to Costco tonight. Oops, I have rehearsal tonight. I’ll go tomorrow morning. First thing.”
“I thought you just finished the show.”
“I did. This is for another gig—one that involves some work for Duda Detectives.” I made coffee while I filled in Uncle Bob on my meeting with Arrestadt. As I finished up, he did too, popping the last of his sandwich in his mouth. My stomach growled. God help me, I was so hungry that even liverwurst looked good. But if I could drop a few pounds, maybe I’d get more film work. I poured myself a cup of coffee instead.
“You know how I feel about investigating friends,” said Uncle Bob.
“But this is different. Arrestadt hired me, and he hired me because I’m the best person for the job, on account of the fact that I know Candy and I understand the acting life.”
“All right.” My uncle sighed. “You’re both seriously concerned about Candy?”
“Yes and no,” I said. “I’m worried, but I can’t imagine foul play. I mean, who would want to hurt Candy?”
Uncle Bob looked at me with eyes that had seen too much. I turned away and trundled on. “But she may be harming herself. I’m pretty sure she’s bulimic or taking some sort of pills or both. And then there are the accidents. There have been more than just the two this week. And no one wants to talk about what happened to the former Scarecrow. Something just feels...off.”
“And this Arrestadt guy actually hired you to find Candy?”
“Yeah. He’s even paying me double. One contract for the PI work, and another one to act as understudy for the company, so I can get closer to the cast and crew.” I didn’t tell Uncle Bob about the third contract. I didn’t know what to think about it. A national tour would be a huge step for me career-wise, but it also meant I’d be out of town for the next six months. Away from my PI job. From Matt. From Cody.
Dang.
I got out my phone and dialed my brother’s group home. When one of the guys picked up, I said, “Hey, it’s Olive-y. Can you get Stephen for me?” I knew Cody was at work, and didn’t completely trust his housemates to deliver messages (I’d once said something about needing to go to bedwhich by the time the message got to Cody sounded like I was propositioning my own brother).
“Hi,” I said when Stephen picked up the phone. He’d replaced Matt at the group home after Matt graduated. Well, sort of. There was no replacing Matt. In fact, after he stopped working at the group home, Cody missed Matt so much we decided to have weekly double dinner dates with him and Sarah. Our typical night was Monday, since theaters were usually dark and I wouldn’t have a show. “Can you tell Cody I need to reschedule dinner tonight?” I asked Stephen. “I have an unexpected job.”
“Will do.”
I called Matt next and left the same message on his voicemail. Then I called Sarah, Cody’s girlfriend.
“Hello?” Sarah’s voice was deep and soft.
“Afflooo!”
“Who is this? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, sorry, it’s Ivy.” I wiped my nose with the rough, slightly soggy napkin. “I was calling to let you know that I need to reschedule dinner tonight.”
“That’s okay. Cody can’t make it anyway. Didn’t he call you?”
“No.” That was odd. “What’s up?”
“He’s so excited,” Sarah said, pride in her voice. “He has an audition.”
We chatted for a minute more. “Cody tell you anything about an audition?” I asked my uncle after I hung up.
“Not on our last call.” Uncle Bob called Cody a couple times a month, just to check in.
“Huh. Maybe he wants to surprise us. About the audition, I mean.”
“Say that again. That last bit.”
“Um...about the audition, I mean.”
“You do realize you said, ‘I bean,’ right? What are you going to do about that cold? I mean, this understudy gig involves acting, right?”
Watch next week for the next installment of The Phantom of Oz!
And if you haven’t read the first four books in the Agatha-nominated Ivy Meadows series:
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